7/14/13 nap

[buildthefarm]

i fell back asleep for a short nap this morning and had a dream that my father and i and lenny were playing golf at lennys house. we all shot and there were extra balls on the course so i went a threw the one nearest to my ball off the green. then someone took mine and said that id moved the wrong one, and so they put my ball in a hole further away than it was and made it an impossible shot. i got mad and threw my club at the wall at lennys house. we were now inside and the golf course was gone. my father saw how angry i was and advised me to stop playing for awhile because i was upsetting lenny with my behavior. i then felt completely out of control and enraged and possessed. i was trying to hide how angry i was but i just kept walking backwards and my father was looking at me examining me, and the sky was turning stormy. then he told me that spirit has been with me since i was born (anger/rage) and i needed to calm down. so i laid down and they went outside to keep playing. then all my kids jumped on me on the couch and moved the couch and started throwing things around the room and spilled some water, and were jumping on me like they do. and i was just trying to ignore it so i could calm down but it couldnt be ignored so i got up to say something and then my mother and lennys wife mrs becky walked in and made a big deal out of me getting up in anger to discipline the kids and i was trapped between being disapproved of and having wild out of control children(which happens alot around here)

[warrior]

This is clearly very personal to you. What do you feel is being said to you? An observation only, is that we don't seek the approval of others - we know that some'll be offended no matter what.

[buildthefarm]

well the main thing i get from this is God saying that the anger issue i sometimes have had is something i was born with, i think thats literal. like a generational issue. and i imagine the rest has to do with changing my approach, because its not working. i cant go about saying nothing when there are things obviously wrong which has always been my way of dealing with anger. and i cant explode with anger when things are haywire. i need a different approach to dealing with this cuz what I'm doing is not working for anyone. thats what i get from it. any thoughts?

[hearingGod]

generational anger stinks... i struggle w/ it's return too. an easy button to push for the kick-me sign, right, LOL.

my sis said my nephew had a dream that i was so mad that smoke was coming out my ears. it was of note because he was asleep & woke up laughing cuz he said it looked funny. if that not've happened she probably wouldn'tve remembered to tell me about it. so just shows me what the enemy is targeting...esp. w/ so much to do...frustration etc. i never discount what the Lord is speaking thru those young ones, even if it's not an arrow in my quiver.

so...take your intel and pay attention...and kno ur not alone. gotta plug along every day