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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 24, 2013 17:45:10 GMT -5
last night was really rough...I'm trying to just "keep calm" today cause I don't want to make things worse...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 24, 2013 18:10:17 GMT -5
right now...I'm going in and out of sharp...burning...constricting pain around my heart...started to get worse when I was with my mom for a bit...my friend told me that it could be the Python spirit...but I don't know what that is...he told me to try and not say too much...especially about the hurt...and don't blame others...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 24, 2013 20:18:54 GMT -5
Looking unto Christ crucified. Giving up my inward poison.
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 24, 2013 22:27:23 GMT -5
"When a sinner is bleeding with sin, Jesus pours his own blood into the wound; and when that wound is slow in healing, he binds his own sacrifice about it."
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 25, 2013 17:42:11 GMT -5
all I can feel is this heavy burden on my chest...it's crushing me...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 25, 2013 18:08:11 GMT -5
I'm completely worn down...all I feel like doing is sleeping...like Elijah...I'm absolutely exhausted and feel like giving up...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 25, 2013 18:23:14 GMT -5
my brother is coming back from school Wednesday...then expecting me to go back with him...I just can't do it right now...honestly...I feel like I have no energy left...an angel is going to have to come and feed me because I'm losing it...please pray...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 25, 2013 18:55:28 GMT -5
laying on my bed...my mom was praying...she said that God was telling her that it is not anybody's sin but that He simply wants to glorify Himself...when she was done praying over me I threw up in my mouth...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 25, 2013 20:10:32 GMT -5
I'm overwhelmed...I can't stop crying...I can't carry this burden anymore...I just can't...
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Post by hearingGod on Jan 25, 2013 22:00:49 GMT -5
Binding from operation... Heavy duty prayer for tomorrow broadcast so stay tuned... Most likely going to do YouTube hangout on freedoms01 will put out notices about it.
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 26, 2013 12:32:10 GMT -5
thank you...I have to go to sleep right now for a little bit...stayed up till like 3 in the morning then got woken up at 7...
was speaking with my dad about a lot of what has been going on with me...all of my anger, fear, hate...more than anything...FRUSTRATION...
and I became very very confused with a lot of what was said between us...but in a nut shell it is occuring more and more and more with me that everything in my life is basically exactly like Elijah...
I think that God had Elijah spend time with a widow...this is what I have done this summer with a stranger nearby and her kids...eventually confronting the enemy with greater and greater tension till I cast out a demon...get all turned around by my older bro and father...someone tells me that my problem is a Jezebel spirit...same with Elijah...
I become very afraid...deal with intimidation...I try and fight it...eventually I just collapse out of fear...guilt...pain...confusion...despair...and I found myself today crying out to God, "I'm no better than my father!"...wait a second...that's what Elijah said... :/ is that my real motivation? to be better than my father...was that Elijah's real motivation? to be better than others...twice he cries out to God, "I'm jealous for you!!!"...this is how I feel...yet I'm angry...
the way I see it right now is that Elijah began his ministry defeating false prophets who were self-sacrificing themselves in idolatry...but later he finds out that his relationship to God was actually very similar...it was sacrifice rather than faith and obedience...this is where I'm at...this is how I feel...
it feels very very real to me...very heavy and discouraging...so I really am not sure it is the Lord...the Holy Spirit only encourages...but it seems that the pain and burden on my chest is keeping me from the peace of the Holy Spirit...the fruit of disobedience is work and work creates burdens and burdens create more work...and on and on...until I'm very sorry for whatever disobedience I did...and I'm repenting like mad but I don't even know what I'm doing wrong...all I know is that I feel rotten...miserable...and my mom is saying that she heard from God that it isn't my sin or the "sin of my father" but simply for God to glorify Himself...
well...idk...I'm at my end...gunna get a little sleep...and then I'll be sure to tune in...
(P.S. I'm sorry for all the trouble...God's thoughts are higher than mine...so this whole thing is just beyond my vision...I'm really hoping for freedom though...bless u...and thank u so so very much!)
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Post by preciousjewels on Jan 29, 2013 16:21:36 GMT -5
praying for Crisitina and Daniel.. psalms 91 for Daniel, and Greater iis Jesus in you daniel, than the one in the World.. Cristina, been where you are, hang on to Jesus, he is your strength, he is your help, he will be with you, Psalms 46 and psalms 121.. for Christina....praying for you...
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 31, 2013 15:54:43 GMT -5
thank you for praying for me  much love...bless u... want to get past all of this hurt... find the child inside of me again and play with my Father in Heaven... |
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Post by loveroftruth2010 on Jan 31, 2013 15:59:34 GMT -5
brother is back home...blasting heavy metal...(...it's only a matter of time til I'm back into the Father's heart...it's always into the fire and back to the Father..)
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much love...bless u...